Talking with your children about any sensitive subject can prove to be difficult. However, talking with your children about, “why you’re giving a baby up for adoption” is one of the most difficult to discuss.
Our Adoption Coordinator has some valuable advice for any birth parent who plans to have this discussion with their child/children. “The one thing that I recommend to every birth parent that asks me this question is simple: be as honest as is appropriate for their age. Most of the time children are just looking for a simple answer. They want reassurance from you that this plan is your decision and that nothing in their life will change.”
Today, when a birth mother is making an adoption plan, they often include a post-adoption arrangement. These arrangements often involve correspondence, updates/letters, and even meet-ups. Some birth moms, who are already raising children, have chosen to include them in these relationships. They will share the letters/updates with the children and perhaps bring them along to a meet-up so that they can get to know the adoptive family.
We’ve also seen some birth moms allow their child to send a special gift home with the baby. This helps the child feel more a part of the process and assures them that their sibling will have something to remember them by.
In the end, a mother knows her child best. She will often intuitively know how to best broach the subject and answer any questions her child might have. Remember, by placing “baby” for adoption, you made a decision that was selfless and full of love. Share that with your child and remind them of how much you love them too.