Many of you may know that I am the proud adoptive mother of twin girls who are now in their early 20s. Like many of the adoptive parents we work with, I suffered through infertility and failed pregnancies before looking into private adoption services as a way to become a parent. After working with so many birth moms and adoptive parents, ‘it’s clear to me that both sides are walking a similar path, yet coming from a different direction.
Over the years, working hand-in-hand with both adoptive parents and birth parents, and having gone through the adoption process myself, I’ve come to realize that we all share many of the same fears and anxieties about the adoption process.
During the adoption process, I remember thinking things like, “Will we ever be chosen?” or “Will the baby really love me as their parent?” On the flip side, many of the birth moms I’ve worked have shared similar feelings and questions with me. “Will they really want my baby?” or “Will they really love my baby as their own?”
Given my experience over 20+ years, I think it’s realistic to say that both sides – adoptive parents and birth parents – come to the “table of adoption,” with many fears, losses, and unanswered questions. I encourage the birth moms that we work with to take their time looking for the right adoptive family and consider all their options, rather than just blindly, “giving a baby up for adoption.” Similarly, I advise prospective adoptive families to carefully consider all things before committing to a birth mom and her baby.
I encourage all of the birth moms we work with to be open and honest about their feelings throughout the entire adoption process. I suggest the same thing to adoptive families. I believe this is the best way to create a sense of mutual trust and respect between both sides. Adoption is a matter of the heart, and more often than not, both sides will encounter unexpected feelings along the way that they will need to work through and decide how to handle. Approaching this complicated process with honest intent and an open mind is the best way to complete a successful open adoption plan.
Finally, we offer and encourage birth moms to participate in counseling throughout the adoption process so that they are well prepared in what to expect. Beyond counseling, we also offer birth moms the chance to connect with other women who have been through the process and are willing to share their experience. Adoptive parents, on the other hand, are introduced to other adoptive parents that have been through the process and can help them set realistic expectations.
So….if you’re considering “giving your child up for adoption,” I would love to meet with you and discuss all of your options. If you do choose to work with us to create an adoption plan, we can show you the adoption profiles of our hopeful, waiting families. Many of these families are more than willing to meet you in person or talk with you on the phone so that you can make the best decision for you and your baby. Oftentimes, speaking with the adoptive family beforehand will help you feel more confident and comfortable with them from the start, allowing you to begin building a relationship that not only works now but in the future.
Please feel free to contact us by calling or texting us at (850) 308-1836